Lately, we’ve been diving into some really interesting topics, like what it means to be high-functioning and the tricky balance between strength and performance.
We’ve talked about how we sometimes mix up just giving attention with actually connecting with someone, and why we find comfort in certainty. We’ve also thought about how confidence often gets confused with real skill.
Challenging Assumptions: More Questions Than Answers
If you’ve been following these chats, you might have noticed something: none of them are really about finding the “right answer.” They’re more about questioning what we think, especially our own ideas. Today, I want to dive into something that’s pretty tough to challenge: what we believe.
These days, changing your mind seems to be a big deal. It’s not that we’ve stopped learning; it’s more that we see our beliefs as part of who we are. So, while shifting our views should be as natural as picking up new experiences, it often feels way harder to do.
The Stigma of Changing Your Mind
Changing your mind often feels like admitting defeat, right? Society tends to see it as being inconsistent or even failing. But let’s think about this for a moment.
If someone said, “I’ve learned way more about nutrition in the last decade,” people would celebrate that growth. The same goes for someone whose views on history have changed after diving into more books—we’d see that as improvement.
Now, when it comes to our strongly held beliefs, the situation is different. These beliefs aren’t just random thoughts; they’re tied to our relationships, values, communities, and sometimes our jobs.
Suddenly, changing your mind could mean distancing yourself from those around you. You start to wonder, will people still get me? Will they still accept me? Those are some heavy, real questions that raise the stakes emotionally.
Facing the Possibility of Being Wrong
There’s definitely more to this tricky issue. Changing your mind means we have to deal with the uncomfortable idea that we might have been wrong. Being wrong isn’t the end of the world—it’s often part of learning.
But let’s be honest, it doesn’t feel great. We usually tie our intelligence to being right, so when new info comes along that challenges what we believe, it can seem like our smarts are being questioned.
Maybe we’ve got it all backwards. Being open to changing your mind isn’t a sign of weak beliefs; it actually shows you’re paying attention. Life keeps moving forward.
Our experiences shift, and people can catch us off guard. Things change. If we stick to the same old way of thinking, can we really say we’re growing, or are we just holding onto a rigid identity?
The Courage to Embrace Curiosity
Certainty gives us a sense of emotional safety. When we reach a conclusion, we can relax and let go of any uncertainty. But this sense of security comes at a price: it can shut down our curiosity. In reality, it’s curiosity—not certainty—that really helps us grow.
Some of the smartest people I know are both thoughtful and curious. They’re okay with changing their minds. They’re not just indecisive; they’re always learning. That openness shows a level of humility—they understand that no one sees the whole picture.
Redefining Identity Beyond Being Right
Changing your mind doesn’t feel so scary when you’re not attached to always being right. If your identity is based on being honest, it’s way easier to let go of old ideas that don’t work anymore.
It feels pretty freeing to be able to say, “I used to think this made sense, but now I see it differently.” We should totally encourage that kind of change. Without it, growing wiser gets held back. Wisdom is really about fine-tuning your answers and sometimes swapping them out, rather than just piling them up.
The Intersection of Openness and Growth
Curiosity can sometimes be more important than just feeling right for a moment. Growth often means letting go of ideas we used to hold onto tightly. As we wrap up today’s chat, I want to share something personal.
Lately, our episodes have touched on topics like identity, strength, resilience, and the stories we tell ourselves. But underneath it all, there’s a deeper question that I’ve been thinking about a lot. It’s key to my upcoming book, Survival Isn’t a Victory.
In the next few episodes, I’m planning to dive into the ideas that inspired this book. I won’t be going over the chapters or my personal story—that’s for the book—but instead, I’ll be discussing bigger questions about the beliefs that shape who we are, what strength and resilience really mean, and the difference between just getting by and truly living life.
Before we wrap things up, I want to leave you with something to think about for the week. When was the last time you changed your mind about something important? And what helped you make that shift? Those moments are often what lead to real growth.
Stay tuned for new episodes on The Grey Area Unfiltered, Tuesdays at noon ET.
